I call Super Bowl Sunday, “Mansgiving” because it’s the day I’m most thankful that I’m a Man (does a Man change his sheets less than four times a year?). Everything about Super Bowl Sunday is so ultra “Dude” that it gets me hard just thinking about all of the Dude stuff (forget I said that). Think about the day: violence, wings, nachos, beers, shots, violence that could break someone’s leg, commercials with chicks so out of your league that you think they could be in your league if your life was a sitcom called “King of Queens,” pickleback shots, seven layer dip, clothing so comfortable you could fall asleep standing up, a reason to say “damn it woman the game is on,” violence so awesome it could send a man into a post-football depression that makes the public question whether the sport will exist in thirty years, and TV ALL DAY! It’s an important day and if you end up at a party with your girlfriend and her friends then you should just turn in your “Man Card” and by “Man Card” I mean “balls.” Just cut off your balls and leave them at the dead baby drop off point they have at the firehouse. Your balls are gone just like that person’s baby.
Categories: {categories}Life
Tags: drinking, football, j-train's world, jared freid, nfl, partying, super bowl
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